it starts with a bang (or when jemma isn't just a biochemist)
by xoxomolls
Summary: "And she smiles that cruel cruel smile again." FitzSimmons. FitzSkye. SkyeWard. Oneshot. Angst. Slightly AU.


::

Everything starts with a bang.

::

Skye is unconscious when you find her. There's a bruise on her cheek, but she's breathing and you consider that a small victory.

You wonder why you always finds her in the aftermath.

::

By the time Skye wakes up, you've destroyed most of the lab. There's glass all over the floor from the countless beakers and glasses you crushed under your feet and anything you were strong enough to break lies in pieces. Your knuckles are bruised and bloody and covered in scratches and you welcome the pain. You welcome anything that could work as a distraction right now.

Skye's voice is small and quiet and nothing at all like it's supposed to be. "Fitz?"

You hold her when her body starts to shake and her lips start to tremble and you can feel the tears before you can hear the sobs.

"He's HYDRA. Oh my god. He's HYDRA."

You don't tell her that you already know. You just pull her closer and pray to every religious deity out there (not that you have ever really believed in religion, there's a reason you became a scientist) that you'll find Ward before he burns the world down.

"Where's Jemma?"

::

You do find Ward.

Just not in the way you expect to.

He shows up in the cargo hold two days later with two bullets in the back of his head and a note taped to his shirt.

_I don't like double agents. -The Clairvoyant _

Skye cries and you tuck her against your chest and close your eyes because you really should have expected this. Ward wasn't the type of person to fall for HYDRA's slogans and idealist views. He was the kind of person who would destroy himself to save everyone else.

It makes you sick to think that the last thing you said to him was how much you wished he was dead.

{looks like you got your wish after all}

::

Simmons has been missing for four days. It feels like a lot longer. There's a constant buzzing in your head, as if you're constantly listening to static and you find yourself lost in thoughts that make your head hurt. What if she's dead? What if she's being tortured?

You aren't sure which is worse.

May compartmentalizes, shoving any and all sign of emotion into a box and pushing it to the back of her mind. But you can still see the way her lips press together into a tight line whenever she passes Ward's bunk.

Coulson doesn't even try to hide his worry, instead wearing a concerned expression that follows Skye around until he finally turns to you with pity in his eyes.

You kind of hate it, if you're being honest.

::

It's two in the morning and you're wide awake, thoughts of your lab partner running through your head over and over again. You hope she's okay. You really really really hope she's okay. Because you don't think anything is harder than not knowing whether your best friend is alive or dead.

There's a knock on your door and your heart thumps painfully in your chest as you pray that it isn't Coulson. You just aren't sure you can handle any more of his pitying stares.

But then the door slides open and Skye slides in, her fingers twisting in a sweatshirt that you know isn't hers and you know that the circles under her eyes match your own. She pads across the carpet towards you until you grip her wrist and tug her towards you, pulling her into your arms and pressing your face against her neck.

She sniffles and then she's sobbing and you can feel the wetness on your cheeks and you just want everything to be over.

::

The alarms on the Bus go off in sync on a Saturday morning two days later. You stand up, shoving Skye behind the couch and covering her with your body as the sound of gunfire fills the air. You see May kick someone in the chest before another HYDRA agent grabs her neck and twists until the light leaves her eyes and she falls to the ground lifelessly. You see Coulson scream and you see him start firing, not caring who he hits as long as he hits something. It only lasts for a few seconds before a bullet finds its way to his throat. You barely manage to cover Skye's eyes before it happens. But from the small sob she tries to hide, you think she saw enough.

You grasp her wrist and pull her forward, down stairs and through hallways, until you reach the interrogation room and the door is locked safely behind you with a password that only two people know. You just happen to be one of them.

And when it all goes silent, you think that maybe just maybe you'll make it out of this alive.

But then Skye is falling and you're catching her and lowering you both to the floor, your eyes glued to the red stain spreading across her shirt. She frowns as if she doesn't understand what's happening. But you do. You're a scientist and you know that the bullet must have hit an artery. You know that no matter how hard you press down, she's not going to be okay.

Your hands shake when you press down on her stomach anyway, begging and pleading and screaming until your lungs ache and your throat burns.

_Please don't die, Skye. Please, I need you. Don't die. You're the only thing I have left._

She tries to smile at you, her pale hand coming up to cover your shaking ones. "I'm sorry. It's going to be okay. I love you."

And she closes her eyes.

But then there's the sound of footsteps and your breath catches in your throat because you know it can't be May or Coulson. You saw the bodies. You saw them crumble. And you wait for someone to blow the door off its hinges, but the sound never comes. There's a beep and the panel slides open and your eyes widen.

_Jemma._

::

It doesn't register at first that she's unharmed and pointing a gun at you. You're just so relieved that she's alive and that she's here. But then it sinks in and _oh god, Jemma, what did you do?__  
_

She smiles at you, but it isn't the smile you grew up with. The one you fell in love with.

It's bitter and cruel and evil and it hurts your head (and your heart).

"Oh, Fitz. You always were too trusting." She tsks and steps forward, glancing at Skye. "You know she's dead, don't you?"

"What are you doing? This isn't you, Jemma. What do they have on you?"

Her eyes harden and your cheek stings and you don't understand until you watch her shake her hand out.

She hit you.

Simmons doesn't hit people.

Simmons is a pacifist.

Simmons hates violence.

"You wouldn't know that this isn't me because you never knew me, Leopold. You only knew what I wanted you to know. You only saw what I wanted you to see. Poor thing. You always thought you were so smart, didn't you? But you missed the biggest part of the puzzle." The biochemist curls her lips in disgust and kicks at Skye's feet. "God, she was always so weak and so naive. Just like you."

"Why are you doing this?" Your voice comes out hoarse and you hate it.

She smiles that cruel cruel smile again and reaches down to run her fingers along your chin. "Oh, Fitz. Because I can. I've been in HYDRA since freshman year. And it was all going so perfectly. Until Ward had to go and ruin it. But I took care of him before he could blow my cover."

"You killed Ward?" Your voice breaks again, but you don't care. You don't care about anything except the monster standing in front of you wearing your best friend's face.

"Of course I did. God, Leo, since when are you so slow?" She glares at you, but then shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. The Clairvoyant wants you to join us. He thinks you have talent. I tried to tell him you were just a spineless coward, but he wouldn't listen. So what's your answer, Fitz? Stand with HYDRA or die with SHIELD?"

Simmons squeezes your neck, meeting your eyes with a ferocity that sends shivers down your spine. But you don't give in. You spit in her face and watch as the rage fills her. You watch as she steps back and points the gun at your forehead. You watch as her cold eyes soften for just a moment.

"I'm sorry, Fitz. I really am."

And then she pulls the trigger.

::

Everything starts with a bang.

Everything ends with a bang too.

::


End file.
